|Here is the journalling:
Why I do, what I do.
People ask me all the time how I go so long without Justin. How do I make it through all the deployments? They tell me I must be strong, and they could never do it. Well, as I sat here with yet another e-mail in front of me asking me how I do it, I started to think ... Let me tell you exactly why I do it. I do it because Justin is my whole reason for being the person I am today. He’s my everything. My strength. My soft place to fall. My best friend, and my reasoning when I’m unreasonable. He’s everything I could ever want or need. He makes me smile when I think about him. He’s my warm conversation that I wouldn’t miss for anything. He’s my arms wide open when I need a hug, and my stern reminder I’m wrong, when I need one. He’s my cup of coffee in bed every morning, with little gentle kisses to wake me up before the sun comes up. He’s my safe haven. I can tell him anything and I know no matter how emotionally twisted it might be, he’ll love me anyway. He’s the voice on the phone that makes me light up because the first thing he says after I say hello is “I love you”. He’s the first person I think of when I wake up, and the last person I think of when I go to sleep. He’s the one I have the most fun with, and he’s my biggest fan. He knows my strengths and my weaknesses. When I’m feeling really dumb about something, he tells me how smart I am. I love the way he loves me. I know he’d never hurt me. If I could dream up the perfect man for my own daughters to have as a husband, it would be Justin. He’s not perfect by any means, but he’s perfect for me! I could only hope that someday my daughters meet and are loved by someone as much as I am by Justin. And this is why I do what I do. This is how I endure those many months alone. It’s not easy, but it is easy to say I’d do it 100 times more if I had to.