Friday, May 5, 2000    


A Life of New Possibilities . . .

By:Retta, Indiana

Have you ever wondered how you were going to teach your children all the things that you wanted them to know? How you could possibly remember all the things that you wanted to pass along?

A number of years ago, we lost a son to SIDS. It was a heart wrenching experience. I wanted to preserve these memories of him, the only tangible physical evidence of his being here with us. I also wanted our future children to know about their brother. Our little girl, who was three, needed to remember him too. There would be questions and worries from these little ones and I wanted to be able to tell them acurately what happened. How our Loving Father lifted us up, took care of the littlest details. How He showed us that even though he was taking Little Melvin to be with him, he loved us. It was a faith that he gave me at a time that had you asked me, I would never have had. I didn't know how I could go on if my son was dead. But when He asked us to accept His decision to take him back, He also supplied the grace to accept it.

In the process of the loss, physical needs that should have been our least concern became big ones. We didn't have the money for a funeral or headstone, let alone a site. What would we do? This is just a little of how God supplied even the "wants" of my heart. The funeral home had made a decision many years ago that young couples usually had a difficult time with expenses and the funeral was free with all the trimmings except for the casket. My father and my husbands father helped us there. The site where I wanted my son to be buried was close to our house. I wanted three sites, so that we could be buried with him one day. Little did we know that this particular site, was free. The man who dug the grave was a neighbor of my father-in-law and he donated his time. Now the headstone. The one I fell in love with had a beautiful little teddy bear on it. It was way to expensive. I didn't want a little marker, this boy had been alive and was a part of our family. What to do. The monument company worked with us and ordered a less expensive stone to make the headstone of. It was gray, not the pink granite, but it would have the bear. Out of the donations that we had been given, it could be purchased. It didn't come, and didn't come. One day the company said, well if I didn't mind, would I take the pink granite one that was there. I cried! God had worked out the desire of my heart to the letter. What a loving Father he was.

I went to a scrapbooking party and I was amazed. It was just what I wanted. A way to protect the most precious physical possessions that I have (outside of people,) my pictures of Melvin. You could write in the books. You could decorate the pictures and use stickers and pour into the books all the love you felt, all the sadness and the knowledge of what God can do. It was a book that my children could read and learn to love a little boy they had never known or only slightly remembered. And now that I know about scrapbooking. I could pass this along to a family that needed to know that God was faithful even though he had asked us to go through the most horrible time of our lives. It would be a healing book to let others who passed this way, that there could be hope in the trials of this great Loss.

A friend sent this poem and oh how I wanted a place to keep it:

I'll lend you for a little time
A Child of Mine, God said,
For you to love the while he lives
And mourn for when he's dead.

It may be six or seven weeks,
Or thirty years or three,
But will you, till I call him back,
Take real good care of him for me.

He'll bring his charm to gladden you
And should his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories
As solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay
Since all from Earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.

I looked the wide world over
In My search for teachers true,
And from the throngs who crowd life's way
I have selected you.

Now will you give him all your love,
Nor think the labor vain.
Nor hate Me when I call around
To take him back again?

I fancy that I hear you say,
Dear Lord, Thy will be done,
For all the joy this child has brought
All fateful risks we run.

We sheltered him with tenderness,
We loved him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known
We shall forever grateful stay.

But you came "round to call for him
Much sooner than we'd planned - - -
Dear Lord, forgive our grief
and help us understand.

-Edgar A Guest

This book has done all that and more. Scrapbooking has opened up doors to a whole new world. Computer friends that I have never met in person but who I hold in the deepest regard. Sharing with others here at dMarie who are suffering loss.

A life of new possibilities, of the future, present and past coming together in a beautiful book, put together in love and prayer.


Tomorrow at dMarie Daily: Meeting the people I never knew, by Michelle

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